Accepting Pregnancy Transformations

I used to dream about how my pregnancy would be.  Healthy diet with pretty healthy cravings, small emotional changes, happy all the time, able to sleep like a baby, and feeling great!  I can tell you that those dreams of perfection are already long gone.

Just before getting pregnant, I told myself that I would eat the best diet possible. I even went to the store and bought ingredients on a “pre-conception diet” list: Spinach, lean meats, limit sugar, and cut down on caffeine… etc.  I didn’t drink any alcohol and I had Mike follow the same rules.   Of course, that all went down the drain once I got pregnant (except the drinking, of course).  Even though chocolate is off the list, I still love my sweets, I drink a cup of coffee everyday, eat chicken tenders and fries all the time, and greens are just not my thing!  What I’m trying to say is, my pregnancy diet is far from what I had hoped it would be. 

My emotions have also started to become evident.  Just the other day, I was crying, well actually sobbing, for no apparent reason.  I get mad at Mike if he has stinky feet.  I don’t like being told what I need to do by my mom and I become very short with her if she does. If I don’t sleep well at night, forget it, all bets are off!   And dirty baseboards are my natural enemy and I can’t help but get mad and aggravated when I see them.  Oh, and I can’t forget that forgetfulness!  Did I expect this?  Yes.  Was I ready for it? No!  Was Mike ready for it? Probably not.

It is a difficult notion to know that your body is going to change so drastically in the next few months; that your body really is not your body for 9 months (and a few afterwards). But I’m starting to think that a lot of women may feel a little overwhelmed with this ever-changing body.  I know I do!  I sometimes wonder if my flat stomach or sharp brain will ever make an appearance again after the baby is born. 

It is a true miracle what is happening inside of me right now and I already love this baby more than I thought possible.  Looking at ultrasounds, I can already tell it has some of Mike and mine’s personality.  Maybe dreaming of a perfect pregnancy is a type of “getting ready for parenthood” mechanism.  You set out to have a perfect pregnancy but along the way you stumble, kind of just like parenthood.  I've finally learned that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way, all that matter is that you do the best you can do.  It’s all in the journey.